Dorothy Parker quotes

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
- Dorothy Parker

Their pooled emotions wouldn’t fill a teaspoon.
- Dorothy Parker

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
- Dorothy Parker

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
- Dorothy Parker

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
- Dorothy Parker

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
- Dorothy Parker

I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that's too adorable, I'd rather have money.
- Dorothy Parker

I hate writing, I love having written.
- Dorothy Parker

The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.
- Dorothy Parker

There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.
- Dorothy Parker

One more drink and I’ll be under the host.
- Dorothy Parker

When asked if she was going to join Alcoholics Anonymous: “Certainly not. They want me to stop now.
- Dorothy Parker

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
- Dorothy Parker

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
- Dorothy Parker

When she was offended by the amount of money a producer offered her to write a script: You can’t take it with you, and even if you did, it would probably melt.
- Dorothy Parker

I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
- Dorothy Parker

Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
- Dorothy Parker

Better be left by twenty dears / Than lie in a love-less bed; / Better a loaf that’s wet with tears, / Than cold, unsalted bread.
- Dorothy Parker

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.
- Dorothy Parker

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
- Dorothy Parker