If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!

You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct!

For the record, you’re not old, you’re a classic.

Cheers to a woman who stays young! (Only because she lies about her age) Best wishes!

A man has reached middle age when he's warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
- Henry Youngman

Man, you are like a tree in the woods! Old and still managing to stay grounded!

If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.

What are you so happy about? It’s your birthday and you are going to have to spend a lot of money to keep us happy. At least have fun doing it!

Let’s taco ’bout your birthday.

Age doesn't make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!

Cheers to a friend who can tell me when bread was only five cents!

Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!