Bob Hope quotes

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
- Bob Hope

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.
- Bob Hope

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
- Bob Hope

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.
- Bob Hope

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
- Bob Hope

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
- Bob Hope

It's a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you'll be able to watch it all on TV.
- Bob Hope

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
- Bob Hope

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
- Bob Hope

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
- Bob Hope

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.
- Bob Hope

Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers...
- Bob Hope

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
- Bob Hope

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.
- Bob Hope

I don't mind dying, but I hate the preliminaries.
- Bob Hope

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
- Bob Hope

The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.
- Bob Hope

Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you're God's frozen people.
- Bob Hope

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
- Bob Hope

As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn’t been touched by the war and blew it to hell.
- Bob Hope

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
- Bob Hope