25+ Funny Hockey Quotes

Hockey players wear numbers, because you can't always identify the body with dental records.

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.

Some people just need a high-five to the face with a closed fist.

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns.

The goal is too small and the goalies are too big.

Red ice sells hockey tickets.

Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.

Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the street.

Hockey players have fire in their hearts and ice in their veins.

Arrive at the net with the puck and in ill humor.

I was three-quarters down the list of guys I would be facing in my first game when I realized I was looking at our own roster.

Sometimes people ask, 'Are hockey fights real?' I say, 'If they weren’t, I’d get in more of them.

I think the thing you always got to keep in mind, you know, hockey is a game of one-on-one battles.

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don’t even have to go to the hospital.

By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series.

When you pull on that jersey, the name on the front is a hell of a lot more important than the one in the back.

Hockey is where we live. Life is just a place we spend between games.

Hockey is murder on ice.

At the end of each year I make a list of my mistakes and it's pretty friggin long.

I was a multi-millionaire from playing hockey. Then I got divorced, and now I am a millionaire.

Some people just need a high-five to the face with a closed fist.

Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the street.

I think the thing you always got to keep in mind, you know, hockey is a game of one-on-one battles.

Some people just need a high-five to the face with a closed fist.

Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the street.

I think the thing you always got to keep in mind, you know, hockey is a game of one-on-one battles.